Just Me!

I am a wife, mother & keen photographer with an obsession for Scrap booking. My motto is live life to the max and don't regret too much! Thankyou for taking the time to visit my blog!

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    Visit my mini league "Scrappad"
    Sunday, May 29, 2005
    Well i see i've been neglectful again but i dom't seem to have had a minute this week!
    Haven't really been doing anything inparticular but looking after Corey at the moment is a full time adventure.
    Yesterday i went to my first Scrapbooking Crop. It was great! There were 9 of us there, 10 including the lady who ran it. We had a lesson on what to do with bottle tops in the morning and then in the afternoon we could just scrap and play with stuff we had brought. I flattened some tops and painted them and put letters on them and used them on a LO. Still have to finish it but i don't think i'll have time just yet as i have a friend coming tomorrow with her baby :D
    So today i went out walking. My hubby said he would take me for a nice stroll, so over 7 miles later and out of puff i wasn't a happy chappy. As concellation he took me to the pub for dinner! Luckily enough it was completely empty in the pub as you normally can't get a seat but half the city had travelled to Cardiff to watch the local team, Sheffield Wednesday, play Hartlepool in the Division 1 playoff final. And guess what? We won 4-2 and got promotion. I managed to catch it all on the tv as i made sure DH brought me back in time!!!!!! Talk about nervous! But what a day, it was totally amazing!

    So hubby has decided he is going camping! He is going to take Simon and Corey away for a few days in a few weeks time when he is on holiday. I don't do camping so i shall stay at home and chill out! It'll be so weird without them here, but also nice in a way. Hope that doesn't sound bad??!!

    I forgot to mention that the Stanley Robox i bought to take to the crop turned out really well. I painted it 'Periwinkle' and it looks rather nice although maybe a little bright??
    posted by Cath @ 10:54 PM   4 comments
    Tuesday, May 24, 2005
    Well, i've had a pretty relaxing day today. Corey has been an angel and has done nothing but smile all day :) He is becoming very clingy though. That's not necessarily a bad thing as hugs from my son are very very welcome, i just don't want him to become a Mommys boy. He loves to be cuddled and nuzzles into my neck, heaven!

    So for the last couple of days all of been asking myself is Why Me? Why did i have to have a premature baby? I'm sure other Moms of preemies ask themselves this all the time but i haven't really until now. I just can't help but wonder how different my life would be now if Corey was a full term baby. I would probably be working for a start, we may be thinking about another baby now too and our (DH & I) relationship may be a little better as well. Why can't life just be straightforward for a change instead of all these hills to climb. I just hope in the future that the hill becomes a little less steep!

    Onto a different note. I have been trying to fathom out how to take good shots with my camera. All i do is point and shot which is great but i paid in excess of £300 for this camera and i'm sure it's capable of so much more. But reading the booklet that came with it is like reading japanese! Anyway i tried using the Macro feature to take some closeups of my jewellery for a Photography Journal i am doing. I think for a first attempt at close up B&W it turned out ok? What do you think -

    DH and I went out for a meal tonight. We went to an American dineresque(is that a word?) type place called The Boardwalk. The food wasn't very good. We've been before and it's been ok but everything was overcooked, hence to say we won't be going there for a while.
    posted by Cath @ 10:25 PM   2 comments
    Knackered for want of a word!
    Monday, May 23, 2005
    Gosh i've been busy today!!!!

    Corey got up around 7am and i fed him got him changed and all that. Then it was a friends daughters birthday so i had to go get a card and drop that off. Decided i needed the exercise so walked there and back, which was a couple of miles. Went and did a bit of shopping and had to call at the chemist. I bought one of those pedometer so in can keep track of how many steps i'm doing. My walk was 4000 steps!!
    So got back and it was lunchtime for Corey. After feeding him i cleaned the house, did washing and hung it out, did the ironing, played with Corey for a while, got tea ready, before i know it it was 7pm! Oh and of course then i had to make a video for my friend Shelley of Corey. I always knew she was picture needy but it seems she is addicted to videos now!
    posted by Cath @ 7:50 PM   1 comments
    Sunday, May 22, 2005
    Well it's been a pretty quite weekend, for me anyway. Hubby has spent alot of time with Corey and left me to my own devices, which is something i really enjoy because i don't get much me time!
    Friday night is always spent scrapbooking. Daves son Simon always comes to stay and while they have some Father/Son time i banish myself away to my craft room and do lovely crafty stuff! At the moment that normally consists of Circle Journals because i am in 4 but i love doing them! I am doing a Photography one, a Fairy one, a supernatural one, and the other one is with my team on the UKScrappers forum. Mine is on My Favourite things but other people are doing other things so it's a mixed bag. So i managed to finish the Supernatural one Friday night, this one was about Clairvoyants. Just in case anyone from my circle is reading this i'm not going to put who i did it on :D
    Saturday DH went out with the boys and i got to do more scrapping, aren't i lucky! So here's the layout that i did, one of my faves -

    I spent some of the morning cleaning up and then had a Mcdonalds for lunch. I know, i know, very fattening! But i've decided next week to try and start a new healthy regime. I'm going to walk a few miles everyday, hopefully. I have to drop a card off at a friends house which is over a mile away tomorrow so i am going to walk it, this will be day 1 of my weight loss campaign. Maybe i should get one of those tickers that everyone has, you know, 0lbs lose 300 to go!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO. Ok so it's not that bad but i do need to lose quite a few pounds! If i'm totally honest i'd say at least 20. Any tips gratefully accepted. My problems are bread, eggs, cream cakes, biscuits, cheese and Mcdonalds!!! Not sure i could live without them but i'm gonnas have to try. All my clothes feel tight and there is no way i am getting a bigger size!!!

    So today i should have been going walking with DH and Corey. When i went to bed at midnight last night it took me 4 hrs to get to sleep. Maybe i spent too much time on the computer and frazzled my brain but i just couldn't nod off. So when i got up this morning at 7am i had a migraine. It is just starting to wear off. I haven't really done that much today because of it. Watched some TV which i shouldn't have and been on here which i shouldn't have, but we all do things that are bad for us don't we?

    I forgot to mention that we are putting Corey into the Portage programme. It was mentioned to us by our Speech therapist when she visted at the beginning of the week.I have heard of it before but had never really thought about it for Corey until now. She said although she doesn't think he necessarily really needs it but it may be beneficial. She said to ask her about it at our nexy appt in a month. Anyway after talking to DH about it we thought it may be for the best, after all it can't do any harm can it. So to get an even further opinion i emailed Dr Primhak, Corey's consultant this morning and he mailed me straight back. he thinks it would be a good idea too and said to go for it. So i will call Claire on Monday and ask her to put our name forward, after all we could be waiting a while to be seen, hope not!
    For anyone that hasn't heard of it Portage is a home-visiting educational service for pre-school children with additional support needs and their families.
    Just keep your fingers crossed we don't have to wait too long.

    Oh and by the way, Corey ate 1/2 a rusk, dry today :D
    posted by Cath @ 9:25 PM   0 comments
    Friday, May 20, 2005
    Well Corey has been upto more shinanigans! Falling over again yesterday he managed to bite into his lip so you can imagine my horror when i picked him up off the floor to be confronted by a mouthful of blood :( Anyway he managed to make himself sick but 2 mins later you wouldnt have realised anything was wrong and the offending lip is healed now.
    On a brighter note his eating is improving *she says whispering*
    I'm definately not counting my chickens or anything and at this moment touching wood and have everything possible crossed!
    Heres what he ate yesterday.
    Breakfast - small bowl of weetabix mixed with banana yoghurt(won't eat weetabix on it's own yet) and 100 mls of milk
    Lunch - nearly 1/2 jar of textured savoury food, 3/4 jar of dessert, 100mls milk
    Dinner - nearly 1/2 jar of textured savoury food, full jar of dessert with weetabix mixed in, 100mls milk

    We just need to work on textures and amount right now but i am happy with what he is doing right now.
    He even ate some dry rusk as well which is amazing! And he put it to his mouth himself!

    So in my life i am currently involved in 4 CJ's but am behind in my 12x12 scrapping. A friend of DH's has asked me to do a 21st birthday album but i'm unsure what to charge so we'll see if i go ahead with that or not.

    I'm currently feeling abit tired even though Corey has been letting me lie in bed til 8am. Sometimes i find that the more sleep i have the more tired i feel? Still having trouble sleeping in my own bed and find myself sleeping on the sofa every other night. When i had my cough i slept on there for 2 wks solid and i have a very large and comfy sofa so i guess i just got used to it!
    posted by Cath @ 9:04 PM   2 comments
    Accident prone?
    Tuesday, May 17, 2005
    Ok so Mr Corey = Mr Accident prone obviously!

    It seems with each passing day he is getting into more and more scrapes!

    Yes he managed to scrape his finger by getting it underneath the door! So we had tears for a few minutes. But yesterday after he really hurt himself. We have moved everything in sight that we think he could possibly hurt himself on. WRONG!
    He managed to fall over and hit his head on a pile of CDs that were on the floor. I didn't move them because i thought the worst that could happen was he would throw them round the room, which he does constantly, but he managed to hit them right on the corner so he got a lovely long graze on his head.

    He wore himself out yesterday(he was all over the place) and let mummy have a lie in bed this morning, well 8am which for him at the moment is very good!
    posted by Cath @ 12:58 PM   2 comments
    Sunday, May 15, 2005
    Well i can't belive it's been nearly a week since i updated! Since Corey has been into everything things have been a little hectic to say the least! I cannot turn my back for more than a millisecond otherwise something happens. For instance, i left a small bottle of Olive oil on the floor in the living room and thinking nothing of it went upstairs to the loo. On my return i found that he had not only got the lid off but had poured it everywhere! So i got a bowl with warm soapy water in it to clean it up. I stood Corey at the sofa so he couldn't mess with what i was doing but he got down and tipped the bowl of water on the carpet so hence to say i was in a bit of a tangle! He's pulled the fronts off my speakers and broken two of my pot elephants by dropping them on the floor. We have moved everything possible away now but he still manages to find something!
    I haven't really done that much this week. We walked to Meadowhall on Wednesday as i had to get Dave's son Simon some presents because it's his birthday today. Bought some rubber stamps from Hobbycraft to cheer myself up :)
    Bought i nice tool chest thingy yesterday to take to crops as the Artbin i bought went back when i found out they had overpriced it by £20! So i found this tool chest for £30 less and have just painted it a nice cornflower blue :)
    posted by Cath @ 2:28 PM   3 comments
    Thursday, May 12, 2005
    Corey said his first word today, well words. I always chat to him and try to get him to repeat things. Whne i asked him to say bye bye he did, as clear as a bell, i am so proud!
    posted by Cath @ 11:13 AM   0 comments
    Hosp appt today
    Tuesday, May 10, 2005
    We put Corey to bed as usual last night and i ended up going into his room 5 times to lay him down cause he kept standing up, he was also stood up at 6am this morning.
    Now pulling up and standing on his own is nothing new but he has never done it in his cot until a couple of nights ago and now he won't stop!

    It was Coreys hospital appt today to see his consultant, only it wasn't him that we saw but one of his team. We haven't met her before and i was a bit disappointed because she would have known nothing of his history.
    Anyway she seemed fairly pleased with him and doesn't want to see him again until August. He weighed 21lb 4oz today. I can't really work his weight out. When we went to see the dietician he was weighed before hand and she weighed him in kilos and then she said did i want to know his weight, doh!, so she turned the scales to pounds and ounces and said he was 20lb 9oz. Anyway back to today, we out him on the scales and he was 9.73kg. When i got home i checked it and it is 21lb 4oz. On looking at his appt card from the dietician where she wrote weight she has out 9.791. WTF??? Does that mean he's lost weight or did they get it wrong then? God only knows! At least i know what he weighed today! I think!!!!
    Plenty of news on preemies today which i have submitted below, i like to keep track of whats going on!
    posted by Cath @ 4:29 PM   1 comments
    Premature birth could have genetic component
    A woman has a higher risk of delivering a premature baby if a relative has also given birth too early, and there may be a way to determine risk by analyzing genes, researchers said on Monday.

    Premature birth is "the No. 1 problem in obstetrics today and the incidence continues to grow," said Dr. Kenneth Ward, chairman of the department of obstetrics-gynecology at the University of Hawaii School of Medicine and lead author of a study using genetic databases compiled by Utah's Mormon population.

    "There is an underappreciated genetic component to the problem," he said at a meeting here of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. "As we save more and more premature babies of the last generation, they are having babies of their own."

    The rate of premature birth increased 29 percent between 1981 and 2002, and today one in eight babies born in the United States arrives too soon, according to the March of Dimes.

    These babies can face weeks or even months in the neonatal intensive care unit and have an increased risk of death and serious medical complications.

    Ward's team took family histories from 220 Utah women who had given birth to a single infant after less than 36 weeks of pregnancy, compared with the normal 40-week gestation. They identified 28 women with at least 5 close relatives who also had pre-term deliveries.

    They then searched a 75-year genealogy database documenting relationships between some 17.5 million ancestors and 3.5 million descendants of the Utah founder population.

    They found that women who had given birth prematurely were likely to be related at least distantly to another woman who had gone into labor too early.

    "This implies that there are genetic alleles that contribute to the rate of pre-term labor," Ward said.

    He said the families identified in the study will be valuable for identifying the genes associated with pre-term delivery and a genome-wide scan is now underway.
    posted by Cath @ 4:26 PM   0 comments
    Premature baby study secures £3m
    Researchers are getting £3m in research money to continue a study into the effect of different treatments on the long-term health of premature babies.
    Scientists at Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre will use the cash from the Medical Research Council to drive forward a decade-long study.

    The next phase will look at a group of babies born at 26 weeks or less who are now almost 10-years-old.

    The results will help doctors better advise parents with a premature baby.

    Increased survival

    The study, led by Professor Neil Marlow, will also recruit a new group of babies born at 26 weeks or less to try to understand how the type of treatment they receive at birth might affect their long-term health.

    The study has already looked at the original group of premature babies at age two-and-a-half and six-and-a-half.

    Prof Marlow said: "Since our first study we're finding that the number of extremely premature babies who survive has increased dramatically.

    "What we now need to find out is whether the outcome has also improved and also how being born early might affect the surviving child's health and social development in the future."

    Disability levels

    The researchers will use new methods to assess the underlying causes of the respiratory disorders they found in the first study.

    The EPICure study began in 1995, following a group of babies born very prematurely at 25 weeks or less.

    The initial survival rates were low, with just 308 surviving children recruited to the study from 1,289 live births.

    When they were assessed at the age of two-and-a-half, the results showed that around half of the children had no disability.

    But about 25% had severe disability, such as cerebral palsy, blindness and deafness, and 25% had lower levels of disability.

    About 46% were receiving treatment for chest-related medical problems, such as coughs and asthma.

    The next part of the study will start this autumn, focusing on the psychological, psychiatric and respiratory progress of the children at 10.
    posted by Cath @ 4:24 PM   0 comments
    Preemies thrive on formula with added fatty acids
    NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Formula feeds containing fatty acids -- specifically docosahexanoic acid (DHA) and arachidonic acid (ARA) -- may improve the development of preterm infants, new research suggests.

    The findings, which appear in the Journal of Pediatrics for April, are based on a study of 361 preterm infants who were randomized to receive formula containing DHA from algal oil and ARA from fungal oil, DHA from fish oil and ARA from fungal oil, or no supplementation. The babies were compared to a group of 105 full-term breast-fed infants.

    Both of the supplemented formulas were linked to better developmental outcomes than the unsupplemented formula, Dr. Deborah A. Diersen-Schade, from Mead Johnson Nutritionals in Evansville, Indiana, and colleagues report.

    At 118 weeks since the mothers last menstrual period before pregnancy, the infants on the algal-DHA formula had a significantly greater weight gain than those on regular formula or infants in the fish-DHA formula group.

    In fact, the weight of the algal-DHA group was comparable to that of term infants.

    Infants in both supplemented formula groups scored higher on standard mental and movement-coordination tests than did those in the regular formula group.

    "This clinical trial demonstrated that feeding infant formulas with median worldwide human milk levels of DHA and ARA from single-cell algal and fungal oils can enhance growth of premature infants," the researchers conclude.
    posted by Cath @ 4:21 PM   0 comments
    Sunday, May 08, 2005
    Corey has been able to pull himself up for a while and loves to stand but for some reason he chooses not too. He's lazy and likes someone to pick him up and place him where he wants to be. The situation has to be right for him to stand, i.e, there has to be a bar in from of him or something sturdy, the sofa will not do.
    Well tonight he went to bed just after 7pm as normal and about 730 i went in to check on him to find him happily standing at the food of his cot playing with the toy that dangles over the top. I can see i'm in for big trouble!!!!!!!!!!!

    For all my American Buds out there, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!! May you all have a fabulous day!!!
    posted by Cath @ 10:29 PM   1 comments
    Happy Birthday to me!
    Corey is most definately crawling on his knees all of the time now and i cannot leave my back turned for one minute without a disaster happening. Friday it was the turn of the clock on the shelf. It's a biggish wooden clock and just within reach and i heard a little whimper from the kitchen. On entering the room i found Corey with the clock at his feet, a red patch on his head(where it must have hit him) and the hands of the clock bent in the opposite direction. We are definately moving everything within reach today!

    Yesterday we went to Harrogate for the day. It was nice and sunny but very windy and therefore cold. Dave took Corey and Simon to a Model engineers exhibition at the Great Yorkshire Showground and they dropped me off in town to browse around the shops. It's a lovely place. Lots of shops and quaint little antique corners and cafes serving cream teas. I wish we could have stayed longer, it was so busy though you couldn't move. So i walked around the shops and found the Artbin tote i've been searching for for days! I just popped in Lakeland Limited on the off chance they had some craft stuff(which they did) and there in the corner gazing at me was the Super Satchel tote. I think it was a bit more expensive than it should've been but as it's so difficult to get hold of i just had to have it. So i am all set for my first crop now, just need to work out what to take! Here's a pic of my new bag :)

    I also visited Centograph and spent a little on some paper and card as well as a few embellies but there isn't much in the way of craft in Harrogate. We went and had a sandwich for lunch and then headed home where i got straight on the internet to order copious amounts of scrapbooking stuff with my birthday money! I love receiving parcels and i have about 5 to come now next week!

    And so to today, my 32nd birthday. I am hear on my own which is fine. Why am i on my own? Well we usually go walking on a Sunday but because it's my birthday i just wanted to relax, chill out and maybe scrapbook. Dave asked if i minded him going walking and to be honest i don't. When i'm hiding away in my craft room working he'd only be downstairs on his own so he may as well be doing something he enjoys.
    So for my birthday everything i got was scrapbooking related! I got quite a bit of money as well as a Zip'emate, a heat gun and embossing powders and my Artbin of course. Just have to find somewhere to put it all now ;)
    posted by Cath @ 8:51 AM   2 comments
    Friday, May 06, 2005
    Well i went to the doctors today. He said i didn't have a chest infection but looked suprised when i told him what i'd been coughing up(TMI!) Anyway he said if i was no better in a few days then to go back and they would start me on antibiotics. Why would they do that if it wasn't an infection?
    Dave's kids came tonight and we ordered a chinese. It was nice because i dont see Laura very often these days, she's more interested in cars, mobile phones and boys right now
    posted by Cath @ 8:07 PM   0 comments
    Thursday, May 05, 2005
    I'm feeling much better today after a fairly good nights sleep. I'm still coughing alot but have an appt at the doctors tomorrow. I have to go to the hospital to pick up Coreys prescription this afternoon so was going to pop into NHS Direct to get checked out but i think i'll wait til tomorrow.

    Forgot to mention, Corey has started crawling on his knees. Not all the time but some of the time!
    posted by Cath @ 9:31 AM   1 comments
    I have to be so careful with Corey at the moment because he is into absolutely everything! If i turn my back for 1 min he's into something. Yesterday he managed to get the lid of the nappy cream and it ended up all over his hands, clothes and the carpet, and let me tell you, it's abugger to get out.
    This morning i had left a glass of vimto on top of the rack of cds. Corey was standing at the sofa but was quite a way away from it and i forgot it was there. So he walked along the sofa, picked up the glass and tipped it all down the fron of the sofa. Guess that'll teach me to leave things about won't it!
    posted by Cath @ 8:36 AM   3 comments
    Wednesday, May 04, 2005
    Did you know that this week is National Pet Week? no neither did i. Shame i don't have any pets really. Do you?
    posted by Cath @ 4:19 PM   2 comments
    So not much sleep again last night. I've been sleeping on the sofa for the past week with me being ill and coughing i don't want to disturb Dave, plus i can't sleep either, but it's starting to play havoc with my neck, i'm in agony. Because i've been coughing all night and have had no sleep i have a major headache and Corey is moaning and Dave isn't home til late. Argggggggggggg! I need a break! lol I have an appt at the doctors on Friday.

    At the moment i am just loving re-runs of Melrose Place on Sky TV. I used to love that program and somehow stopped watching for some reason. Anyway, a few months ago i noticed that it was back on TV and i had only missed about 6 episodes so we are currently near the end of season 2. The best thing is theres another 5 seasons to go!!!! Woohoo
    posted by Cath @ 4:13 PM   0 comments
    Cigarette smoker
    Tuesday, May 03, 2005
    Although i don't smoke i sound as if i smoke 40 a day. I have a horrendous cough which every so often turned into a spasm and i feel like i'm choking and have to run for a drink. Corey laughs at me every time i cough, he thinks it's so funny! It has really made my throat raw and i feel at some point i'm gonna lose my voice, i can here hubby rejoicing already!

    So we didn't do anything this Bank Holiday exept have an argument. We went to the garden centre yesterday and i wanted to buy a wood/coal burner for the garden. We are having it decked soon and i want something for the mild summer evening so that we can sit outside and relax. Have you ever been really excited about something and then someone just bursts your bubble? Well thats how it was with this. Dave just kept going on about was it too big, would it give off too much smoke and in the end i just said forget it and walked off, a bit childish i know but he really winds me up sometimes! I will win in the end though as i AM going to buy it!

    So today has been a weird day. It started really warm and sunny so Corey and I walked to the shops as i had a couple of things to post. Just as we were coming out of the shops the heavens opened and boy did they open! I have never known rain like it. Luckily i had Coreys rain cover but i just had a thin jacket. By the time i got home i looked like a drowned rat. The rain had soaked through 2 tops to my bra and my eyes were stinging. It had rained that fiercely into my face i was walking with my eyes closed. I think i'll take an umbrella with me next time!

    I cut Coreys hair today. It was looking a bit messy and rather than take him to the hairdresser i thought i'd have a go myself(cheapskate!) anyway i am pleased with the results!


    posted by Cath @ 5:29 PM   2 comments
    Sunday, May 01, 2005
    Ok, last week i bought some new clothes. I am a leisure type of girl and bought some really nice Nike trousers and a Nike t-shirt as well as some other bits.
    After wearing them for the day i washed them and took them out of the washer this morning to dry. Can someone please tell me how clothes can come out of the washer dirtier than when they went it???????????
    My new top and trousers both have big brown stains on the front and i have washed them again using a stain remover and the marks are still there, i've only worn the bloody things once.
    Angry, no, peed off, YES! LMAO
    posted by Cath @ 10:39 AM   3 comments
    I got this from Steph's blog. You see the idea is to pick five from this list and answer them then tag three of your blogging buddies to do it, too.

    If I could be a scientist...
    If I could be a farmer...
    If I could be a musician...
    If I could be a doctor...
    If I could be a painter...
    If I could be a gardener...
    If I could be a missionary...
    If I could be a chef...
    If I could be an architect...
    If I could be a linguist...
    If I could be a psychologist...
    If I could be a librarian...
    If I could be an athlete...
    If I could be a lawyer...
    If I could be an inn-keeper...
    If I could be a professor...
    If I could be a writer...
    If I could be a llama-rider...
    If I could be a bonnie pirate...
    If I could be an astronaut...
    If I could be a world famous blogger...
    If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
    If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

    If i could be a musician....... and would sing on stage in concert a 20,000 strong audience and not be nervous

    If I could be a writer....... i'd turn my boring blog into a novel

    If I could be a doctor
    ...... Like Steph i would be a Neonatal consultant and help to save the lives of preemies

    If I could be a scientist...... i would try to find a cure for Cancer so that i could save my mother from the pain she suffered

    If I could be an architect...... i would design the most magnificent hotel in the world dedicated to families

    Ok, i'm gonna ask, Shelley, Debbie and Tiffiny to do this to!
    posted by Cath @ 9:05 AM   3 comments
    About Me

    Name: Cath
    Home: Sheffield, United Kingdom
    About Me: A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
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