Just Me!

I am a wife, mother & keen photographer with an obsession for Scrap booking. My motto is live life to the max and don't regret too much! Thankyou for taking the time to visit my blog!

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    Visit my mini league "Scrappad"
    Thursday, October 28, 2004
    Corey is doing really well with the sitting now, i can leave him for prolonged periods of time without fear of him falling over. What a clever little boy! Also have discovered his 2 bottom teeth are about to break through the gum. You can see them quite clearly and they feel sharp to the touch. Better late than never i suppose. We've only waited 11 months for them.
    Had visitors today too so i didn't get alot done this morning.
    I'm itching to do some more scrapbooking, it's become an obsession but i feel like i just don't have enough time to do it. Guess that's what having children's all about.
    Taking about children, i wanted to pass on my condolences to Cecily and Charlie. Please visit there blog if you get chance. Words really fail me at times like this. I was lucky enough that Corey was of viable age when i developed Pre-E but i guess others aren't so lucky. You're in my thoughts!
    posted by Cath @ 10:02 PM   1 comments
    Sick, sick, sick
    Wednesday, October 27, 2004
    Can you guess what's been happening today?
    Well Corey has puked about 4 times. I never knew it could travel so far. It went everywhere, including all over me and the TV remote!
    I know he suffers from reflux but today was beyond a joke. He had a flu jab yesterday and i'm hoping it's just a reaction to that and not that his reflux is getting real bad.
    Done a couple more LO's over the last couple of days. I hope Dave doesn't look at the bank account though because i have spend so much during the last 2 wks he'll have kittens!
    posted by Cath @ 6:19 PM   1 comments
    Another week over........
    Monday, October 25, 2004
    ............ and Christmas seems so close!! I can't believe it's only like 60 days to Christmas. Best get shopping.
    Haven't really done a whole lot this weekend, been pretty boring really.
    I've been lstening to Celine Dion's 'Miracle' this weekend. Not my cup of tea really but there is a track on there that i cannot stop listening too. It's so poignant for me. It's the title track and here are the lyrics:

    You're my life's one Miracle,
    Everything I've done that's good
    And you break my heart with tenderness,
    And I confess it's true
    I never knew a love like this till you....

    You're the reason I was born
    Now I finally know for sure
    And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
    So blessed to hold you close
    The one that I love most
    With all the future has so much for you in store
    Who could ever love you more?

    The nearest thing to heaven,
    You're my angel from above
    Only God creates such perfect looooove

    When you smile at me, I cry
    And to save your life I'll die
    With a romance that is pure heart,
    You are my dearest part
    Whatever it requires,
    I live for your desires
    Forget my own, needs will come before
    Who could ever love you more?

    Well there is nothing you could ever do,
    To make me stop, loving you
    And every breath I take,
    Is always for your sake
    You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure
    Who could ever love you more?

    I've put this as the opening track on Corey's website.
    posted by Cath @ 10:10 AM   1 comments
    Bad day
    Saturday, October 23, 2004
    Yesterday was terrible. I woke up feeling so ill! If i hadn't got Corey to look after i would have stayed in bed all day.
    I had the worst headache imaginable and could not shake it. I also felt sick and my scalp was tender as well. When DH got home he was brilliant. He fed and bathed Corey and then put him to bed. He also did his last feed because i was asleep. I went to bed at 7pm and didn't get up until 8am this morning. I know i was ill because i didn't go on the computer at all last night!
    Anyway today i feel alot better. When i got up i still had the headache but after a long soak in the tub i felt better. Went out to the shops and managed to get 2 Scrapbook albums from TK Maxx for £7.99 each. What a bargain!
    posted by Cath @ 3:47 PM   0 comments
    8-Ball you were wrong!
    Wednesday, October 20, 2004
    Well, i'm adding this post late because i just simply forgot.
    The 8-ball said Corey's oxygen wouldn't go down, well, nanananana, it did. We are now in 0.2
    If he did REALLY well he could be off the O2 in 4 wks. Don't think that will happen but i can dream can't i!!!!
    posted by Cath @ 9:20 PM   1 comments
    Tuesday, October 19, 2004
    Ok. So i found a link on Heidi's blog to a Magic 8 Ball site. Thought it would be fun.

    Here's what i asked:

    1. Will Corey start to eat by the end of the year? Yes Woohoo!

    2. Will Coreys Oxygen go down this time? Don't count on it NOT what i wanted to here!

    3. Will i get any Christmas Presents i actually like this year? Ask again later

    4. Will i get any Christmas Presents i actually like this year? (Well it is later!) You can rely on it

    5. Am i spending too much money on my obsession of Scrapbooking? It is certain LMAO
    posted by Cath @ 6:32 PM   1 comments
    Sitting pretty
    Well another sleepless night last night. I'm beginning to sound like a cracked record! Think i finally got to sleep about 230am and was up at 745am with Corey.
    You wouldn't believe how good he's getting at sitting now. He can sitr happily on his own for a few minutes at a time now! I'm so proud of him, what a milestone!
    Sue came this afternoon to drop off the trace equipment. She'd rung earlier to say he might not be having it because the equipment was broken and they hadn't got any spare ones. 45 mins later she turned up with it so i guess it was a quick repair. Corey's vomiting is still quite bad. I'm on my 3rd pair of trousers today as he's been sick on me twice!
    I think motherhood has definately turned my brain into a giant mushroom. I went to Hobbycraft this afternoon to get some more Scrapbooking supplies. Got to the checkout to pay and found that for the 3rd time in as many weeks i had left my credit/debit cards at home! I felt such an idiot. I'm gonna have to start wearing them on a chain around my neck i think!
    posted by Cath @ 5:46 PM   1 comments
    Sunday, October 17, 2004
    I love em!

    Haven't really done very much either this weekend, which is nice. A time to relax!
    Popped into town yesterday morning to buy a few Christmas presents. Do you realise it is only 68 days until Christmas. And inbetween i have Corey's 1st birthday(gulp), my niece's birthday and my BIL birthday! Spend, spend, spend!
    Managed to do some more scrapbooking this weekend, i don't really have time in the week looking after Mr Corey but try to find time at the weekend.
    Here they are. I guess i should get another blog just for these but i'm sure once the novelty wears off i shall stop posting my new ones!

    posted by Cath @ 9:40 PM   1 comments
    Friday, October 15, 2004
    Corey has started sitting a little. He still falls over but is getting much better at it. If i sit him in his little chair or on my knee he can sit up no problem but on the floor he's not as good although he can do it for short times. I'm so excited, i thought he'd never do it.

    posted by Cath @ 6:43 PM   1 comments
    Wednesday, October 13, 2004
    I am sat typing this in tears.
    I am utterly dejected and depressed.
    Corey's feeding problems are really getting to me. I've been coping with this for 11 months and i don't feel i can anymore!
    He had started to get slightly better taking more solids but it seems over the past few days i can get hardly anything into him.
    I know what's coming. I know he will have to have surgery to put the G-Peg in and i am devastated by the thought of it.
    I cannot do this anymore, i'm not strong enough. I HATE it when feed time comes around. I just think well why should i bother even trying when i know what the outcome will be. I know that's wrong but it's the way i feel. Of course i DO try, and try, and try but nothing changes.
    Why me????????
    posted by Cath @ 5:25 PM   5 comments
    Not Again!
    Tuesday, October 12, 2004
    Well today i have woken up with a headache yet again, probably through lack of sleep.
    Didn't do that much today, although i managed to do LO's for my Scrapbook! I'm enjoying it so much, there's such a sense of achievement when you look at one you have made. Here's a couple of pics of my latest ones.

    I'm especially pleased with the last one, i think it's so cute.
    We just got back from the flicks. Went to see 'The Terminal' with Tom Hanks & Catherine Zeta Jones in it. I really enjoyed it although it took a while for it to get going.
    Once again i am without sleep, too active a mind!


    Now you hear what the house has to say.
    Pipes clanking, water running in the dark,
    the mortgaged walls shifting in discomfort,
    and voices mounting in an endless drone
    of small complaints like the sounds of a family
    that year by year you've learned how to ignore.

    But now you must listen to the things you own,
    all that you've worked for these past years,
    the murmur of property, of things in disrepair,
    the moving parts about to come undone,
    and twisting in the sheets remember all
    the faces you could not bring yourself to love.

    How many voices have escaped you until now,
    the venting furnace, the floorboards underfoot,
    the steady accusations of the clock
    numbering the minutes no one will mark.
    The terrible clarity this moment brings,
    the useless insight, the unbroken dark.

    posted by Cath @ 11:48 PM   5 comments
    Sleep (or lack of it!)
    Monday, October 11, 2004
    Well i'm up!
    Went to bed at 10pm because i was shattered after a heavy day of baby grumblings(i can see 2 teeth poking through the gums!) And low and behold after an hour of being laid in bed i am still wide awake. I have so many things running through my head.
    What i have to do tomorrow, Christmas shopping, Scrapbooking etc....
    I know i will be a wreck tomorrow but what can i do? Anyone have any ideas?
    posted by Cath @ 11:09 PM   0 comments
    Monday Morning Blues
    God, i hate it when the weekend is over. Dh works Monday to Friday and as well as getting to spend some time with him it also gives me a bit of a break. Although this weekend i didn't get my break on Saturday like i usually do. DH took his eldest son to an RAF museum in London so he was gone for most of the day. When he got back we did go out for a while and i got to buy my first scrapbooking supplies. WOW, it's a very expensive hobby but DH was very understanding and said 'Was that all' when i told him i spent £60. I thought i had got into the wrong persons car at first but he's been so supportive of my new hobby, encouraging me to buy things etc...
    I think he was feeling abit guilty for leaving me all day Saturday. He should go away more often! So Sat & Sun evening i made two LO's which you can see below. I really enjoyed doing them and am going to try to do another one later when Corey has gone to bed.
    Had a wonderful lie in on Sunday. Corey didn't get up until 08:45 which is the latest he has ever slept in. Went and did a little shopping and had Dinner. Sunday is American Football day so i never get to watch any TV so i usually relax with a book or now i can do my Scrapbooking!!!
    posted by Cath @ 5:04 PM   0 comments
    Second LO
    This is the 3rd time i have wrote this because Blogger keeps coming up with an error message, GRRRRRRRR
    Anyway, can you tell what i've been doing this weekend? Scrapbooking is so addictive isn't it, wish i'd found out about it before now.
    Steph it's all your fault!

    posted by Cath @ 8:48 AM   3 comments
    Saturday, October 09, 2004
    Ok. Tonight i made my first EVER scrapbook page. It didn't work out how i planned it too but i don't think it's too bad for a 1st attempt. Any Scrapbookers who pass by, let me know what you think!

    posted by Cath @ 9:38 PM   2 comments
    Ok i feel like teenager here! Have you ever had a crush on a famous person?? Well i have a HUGE crush on Adam, the lead singer from Maroon 5. OMG he is so sexy! Wouldn't believe i was 31 would you. And yes i am happily married. LOL

    He's the one in the middle!

    posted by Cath @ 1:17 PM   0 comments
    Facts & Figures
    Friday, October 08, 2004
    For those of you who are interested here are some facts & figures about Premature Babies:

    The UK has the highest rate of low birthweight babies in Western Europe

    Babies born at 23 weeks have a 17 per cent chance of survival
    Babies born at 24 weeks have a 39 per cent chance of survival
    Babies born at 25 weeks have a 50 per cent chance of survival

    Twenty years ago, approx 20% of babies weighing less than 1,000gms (2lb 2oz) at birth survived. Nowadays, about 80% survive.

    Twelve percent of all babies born need some level of special care at birth (about 80,000) and 2.5% of all babies born need some level of neonatal intensive care (about 17,000).

    Premature baby: Born before 37 weeks
    Moderately premature baby: Born between 35 and 37 weeks
    Very premature baby: Born between 29 and 34 weeks
    Extremely premature baby: Born between 24 and 28 weeks
    Low birthweight baby: Weighs less than 2,500g (5.5 lbs)
    Very low birthweight baby: Weighs less than 1,500gms (3.0 lbs)

    About 8% of all deliveries are preterm. Premature labor is responsible for about 75% of stillbirths and deaths of babies in the first 7 days of life.

    posted by Cath @ 1:35 PM   1 comments
    Today i have woken up with a horrendous headache. Sometimes i get them and it doesn't matter what i do they just stay with me all day long. I even took Migraleve but it's still there, pounding away in my head. And with a grumpy post immunisation baby to look after it's getting worse. I've tried to sit down and relax but it's difficult with a 10 month old baby to do that. I guess i shouldn't be looking at the 'puter right now as that can make matters worse. I'm gonna try and nap later when Corey has a nap.
    Anyone have any headache cures??
    posted by Cath @ 1:06 PM   1 comments
    Thursday, October 07, 2004
    Does anyone else here hate going to the dentist??
    Even though i had to go today knowing that nothing was wrong and that all i was going for was a routine check-up and scale and polish i got myself into a really bad mood over it. When DH came home from work i was very snappy(this is how i handle stress) and we nearly ended up arguing. Anyway, it's over with now although when i asked him to grind a tiny bit off my back tooth because it was making my tongue sore, he inadvertantly drilled my tongue at the same time! Not bad or anything but it's mighty sore now :-(
    Shopping day today as well. Supermarkets are so cool. I love browsing round the aisles. The bit i hate though is loading it all into a trolley, taking it out again, packing it into the trolley again only to have to unload it at the other end. Wish there was an easier way!!
    posted by Cath @ 10:01 PM   2 comments
    Better tell you the story
    Wednesday, October 06, 2004
    I suppose if you've stumbled upon my blog and you don't know me you may be wondering why i have a child who has tubes taped to his face. Well let me tell you what happened.
    I had wanted a baby for along time. Before i met my husband i was in a long term relationship for 7 yrs and we were going to get married and have children. But things deteriorated and it culminated in us parting ways. I met my husband through work, he was my boss and things got serious pretty quickly. He already had 2 children from a previous marriage and was 12 yrs older than me and i worried that he wouldn't want anymore. But after been together for a few months and knowing that this was for life we knew that we would inevitably have children. We moved in together, got married in Oct 2002 and in May 2003 were delighted with the news that we were expecting our first child. We decided we wanted to know the sex of the baby so at my 20 wk scan they told us we were having a boy. We were thrilled. I decorated the nursery and we had major renovation work done to the house to give us an extra bedroom. All this finished in July 03 and i spent the next couple of months getting the house in order. In November our life was to change forever! Up until the point i had had a normal pregnancy, sickness, indigestion, all the normal stuff that goes with carrying a baby but i knew something wasn't right.
    He had always been a very active baby but i just felt as if something was wrong. Mothers instinct i guess. 36 hours passed and i hadn't felt a single movement so i decided to get myself checked out. I rang my midwife who told me if i was in doubt to ring the hospital. I did and they told me to go in and get checked out. I arrived at the hospital and they did a CTG which showed decelerations and no peaks, my baby wasn't active. They scanned me and said he was in a breech position and that was probably why i couldn't feel him. After what seemed like ages i was told to wait outside while they fetched a doctor. I thought this was routine but i was in for the shock of my life. He told me that my placenta wasn't working properly and that the baby was not getting all the nutrients he required, he was therefore smaller than he should be, this is called IUGR. I was to be admitted straight away to keep a close eye on me. They gave me a shot of steroids to develop the baby's lungs in case they needed to deliver, i didn't think for one minute they would!
    It was Thursday 13th Nov and i was scared, very scared. I called my husband Dave to tell him but all he could hear was me crying on the other end of the line. I eventually told him what was happening and he rushed to the hospital. I went home and got a few things together and Dave drove me back to the hospital at 5pm.
    Over the next 2 days i was closely monitored. On Saturday 15th November as i was having a trace in the early evening the nurse decided it was time to call the consultant to look at it. I asked what was wrong and she said it was very 'flat', i was scared. Never for one minute did i think that anything could go wrong. When the consultant arrived he said they were going to deliver my baby. All i could do was cry. I was only 28 wks pregnant. They told me my baby had an 80% chance of survival, all i could think about was the other 20%.
    Dave called round family and friends to tell them because i was to upset to speak. I was taken to theatre and had an epidural and at 20:48 that evening my little Angel Corey Owen was born, he weighed 2lb 2oz. He never made a sound. As they wizzed him past i never got to see him but Dave did. I didn't get to see him until the following day. I was taken to HDU as my blood pressure was very high and took a while to be stabalised. I was given medication but i felt awful. I had the most severe headaches you can imagine and i was vomiting. I was later to find out i had a spinal leak from the epidural. I stayed in HDU for 2 days.
    He was immediately ventilated as his lungs were very immature and was rushed to NICU. I never got to see him that night but Dave brought some polaroid pictures to show me. He was gorgeous, but i felt so detached. He didn't feel like my baby.
    The day after he was born things didn't go too well. They didn't expect him to survive as he had developed Group B Strep and they were having trouble maintaining his BP.They told us to spend as much time with him as possible. Later they suspected he had Pnuemonia. He was a fighter though and managed to pull through. A week after he was born they decided to try him off the ventilator. He only lasted one hour on CPAP before becoming very tired and having to be reintubated. This would continue for 10 long weeks. He has had a very tough road. He has had a Grade 4 IVH (brain bleed), NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis), and a PDA which had to be operated on at Leeds General Infirmary when he was just 8 weeks old. After this operation it was thought he would get better, however things got much worse. Corey went into respiratory failure and had to be put on an Oscillating ventilator and given Nitric to help the blood supply to his lungs. As a last resort he was given Steriods, these can have developmental effects in later life so the decision to give them was not taken lightly. After 3 days of steroids Corey was well enough to come off the vent and onto CPAP. He cycled on and off this for about 3 weeks and then went onto low flow O2. He continued to do well and was promoted to HDU and then 2 days later to SCBU. He was due to come home at the end of March but suffered a setback. After his first set of immunisations he developed a temperature and his blood gases became very poor. He needed much more Oxygen and we ended up back in Intensive Care. The nightmare was starting again. I felt like i couldn't take anymore. They talked about putting Corey back on a ventilator and i was scared that if that happened he would never come off it again. It was decided to increase his steroids and put him on antibiotics as a precaution. After a week in ITU he was well enough again for HDU but it had set us back about a month. After spending a few weeks in HDU we finally came home on the 20th April after 154 days.
    Well after being at home for nearly 6 months Corey is doing well. He is currently in a small amount of oxygen and we hope to get him off that by the end of the year. He still won't eat very much orally and has the NG tube still but we are persevering with it.
    The picture shows him when he was a couple of days old and you can see how he looks now from the pictures on this page!

    posted by Cath @ 7:11 PM   2 comments
    Well Sue just rang with the trace results and just as i suspected we are staying in 0.3
    I am so upset. I really wanted him to be off the O2 for his birthday but i don't think it will happen now. She said if it hadn't been RSV/Cold season they would have let him go down but it is so he has to stay in that for now. Sniff sniff!
    posted by Cath @ 11:42 AM   0 comments
    Not again!
    Well i don't think the trace went brilliantly. He was saturating at 95-97% in 0.3 and when i turned him down to 0.2 he was a little less than that, about 93-94%. I'm sure they're gonna say he has to stay in 0.3. I fell like we're in limbo now. I got so used to him being turned down every 2 wks that i kinda got used to it and when it doesn't happen now i get really upset. Another sleepless night for nothing. I'm just waiting for Sue to come pick the trace equipment up. I'll let you know later how he got on when i get the results.
    posted by Cath @ 8:30 AM   0 comments
    Busy Day
    Tuesday, October 05, 2004
    Dave worked from home today so he could come to the hospital for Corey's appointment. The taxi was late, again!, and we were a few minutes late. We were going to see Dr Primhak, Corey's Respiratory Consultant, he's such a wonderful doctor.
    Well he thought Corey had done so very well, he was really pleased with him which pleased Mommy & Daddy as well! The main issue now is his feeding. He mentioned G-Tubes again and said if Corey wasn't eating sufficiently by the end of the winter it would be a real possibility. I guess i just have to live in hope now. It pains me so much that he might have to go through an operation again. If the G-Tube is purely for cosmetic reasons then i'm not sure i want it done. On the other hand if it will help in in the long run then i am all for it. I guess it's something we shall discuss at a later date cause right now i just don't want to think about it. he also decreased hid diuretics. We're to have them just once a day now, if his trace is fine in 2 wks then we can stop them altogether. We'll be drug free then, just his dalavits and sytron.
    He was weighed and measured. Weight gain was poor but he's grown over 3cm since Aug!
    He had his 3rd lot of immunisations while we were there and screamed the hospital down. Have you seen how big those needles are! Sheeesh! Apparently they have to use the same size needle as they do for an adult :-o
    Anyways, he soon recovered after a cuddle from Mummy.
    We have to go back in about a month for his Synagis shot(vaccine for RSV). He's being entered into a trial for the new version of it which is supposed to be better. He also has to have a flu jab at some point, going to the doctors for that hopefully.
    Sue came about 3pm and dropped of the trace equipment. He saturated about 95% when she checked him so hope it's a little higher tonight. I'll let you know tomorrow how we get on.
    Fingers crossed Guys xx
    posted by Cath @ 7:28 PM   1 comments
    Out for the day
    Sunday, October 03, 2004
    Went to Rother Valley Country Park today. Had a lovely walk round the lake, very cold though, had to wrap Mr Corey up well.

    Went to Hobbycraft to get some ideas on scrapbooking and to see if they had any books, which they didn't. Steph on the forum gave me some good advice though! Thanks Steph! Managed to get a book on Paint Shop Pro 8 though so will be fiddling about with that next week.
    posted by Cath @ 7:16 PM   2 comments
    Saturday, October 02, 2004
    I love shopping. Not necessarily for myself but just in general. NEXT had a sale on today so i got to the shops for about 0815am. Managed to get Corey some lovely stuff and saved a fortune. Bought some for when he's a bit older too cause they'll keep.
    Is it me or do you just never catch up with washing and ironing once you have a baby? I constantly feel like the washer is on and theres a mountain of ironing in my kitchen!
    Corey is trying to crawl at the moment. Even though he hasn't got much upper body strength he is trying so hard to do it. He keeps lifting his bum off the floor and moving his legs. I'm sure he won't be long!
    Well, i'm off to read some more of my book now so Ciao!
    posted by Cath @ 7:59 PM   2 comments
    Friday, October 01, 2004
    Well didn't do much today apart from housework, boring. Corey's been a bit grumy but i think his cold is a little worse. My friend Gwen came with her new baby Oliver, what a cutie. He's 7 wks old now.
    Simon stayed tonight and when they went out to the stop someone pranged the car, grrrrrrrrr. Anyway, no real damage luckily.
    I managed to read about 100 pages of my book tonight, wow, it's sure getting good now.
    posted by Cath @ 10:09 PM   0 comments
    About Me

    Name: Cath
    Home: Sheffield, United Kingdom
    About Me: A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
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